2012

Looking forward to what this year has in store! 2011 did not rank as a stellar year for sure. I did learn a lot and look forward to putting that to work in moments, days and years to come, but happy to put it behind me. God has been good to me and has done a great work in me over the past months. This has allowed me to find great peace in what remains behind and have huge trust in what He needs me to do moving forward.

My family is precious to me, outside of the Lord himself, they, each and everyone, are my biggest priority, my greatest treasure. Working towards working through and making each moment better. Too much has been robbed from us in the past, thrilled that we are moving into a time that this will not be a banner. Time is not wasting me

2012 won't be perfect, nothing is, but new opportunities and adventures are truly something to get excited about, especially when shared with those you love most!

Christmas!

A really nice Christmas was had by all members of this family yesterday. Unfortunately, the littles aren't big on sleeping in, so we were up at 5:45. Our family set up is unique, it has both it's advantages and disadvantages. While we would love to have family near by to visit or be visited by, days like yesterday where we get to stay in our pj's and play all day are a rarity. Shep's age is a fun one this time of year. Once he got the idea of ripping paper off of the packages, he was pretty eager. The girls are old hat with it and were enjoying their gifts in no time. I was pretty wiped out, but it was truly a fine day.

The Help

Finally got around to watching the movie. My Mom loved this book, so I was really excited to see the film. My Bella sat next to me as we laughed, watched and laughed some more. Great story. Every aspect! I knew I was going to cry, had no idea how much until Mary J. Blige's song "Living Proof" came on. Let's just say the flood gates opened.

Some decisions are tough. Really tough, but there comes a time when you know it's time. A movie about being held down, breaking the chains, being free.....so uplifting. Powerful to me. I had heard decent reviews about The Help. Nothing too outrageous, but that film, It is one I will always remember, will smile when I think to and is most certainly one I will give a nod to Heaven on! Awesome!

God is so good! So good!

"I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 56:11 NLT)

The amazing things God does....

Seriously, is there no end? At a time in my life, that could be confused for a bad lifetime movie, God is pulling out all the stops. On me, my heart. I have been a christian and in faith for 20 years now, but haven't ever felt closer, or in more connectedness as I do now. Finally understanding key things in my walk with Christ that I was lacking in. Grace being one of them. I strove too much. And with it earthly speaking, I've not ever been hindered in offering Grace to other people- but myself, not so much. I've kind of gone about life as "the kid without a choice" way. That appeared to be working, just moving in obedience, until a point in my life, where I kind of threw a tantrum. Allowed myself to only think about me. Went from never thinking much of me, to only thinking about me. No middle area there. As you could imagine, that wreaked havoc on my life, and those close to me.

God has recently acknowledged my disappointments, my heartaches, my pain and allowed me to see them as He does. He has given me eyes I've never truly had. I am a calm, easy going personality....a "let it roll off your back" kind of girl....but that changed. And in maturity, is continuing to, but this time, for the better. I really like what God is doing to my heart. I am excited about His picture of what my life is to be. There are many facets to my life that I can not control, but I will not let them defeat me. I am joyful, because of a Christ-filled void. Nothing and no one is going to take that from me. I've been joy filled before, and peacefully content before...but that's got nothing on this. Seriously, there is no detour here. My eyes are steadily affixed ahead of me, I literally can not see my circumstance.

God is so good to me. And what's so humbling, is that I will never deserve it. Despite, I will live my life as a precious daughter. And only accept things in my life that allow me to do that.

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No despite, all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35, 37-39

December

We chose to put our tree up earlier this year than any other. Hoping this would elongate the season for us, but it has not happened. Christmas is 9 days away and another year has gone by and left me feeling very unprepared. Regardless, we are striving daily to find things to enjoy this season. My son has fallen in love with the tree. In fact, ornaments reside only on the upper portion of the tree because he was so delighted by each dangling piece. So, he has decided to contribute regularly in his own to decorating the tree. I have included pictures;


The first picture there are strategically placed balls in the limbs and the second; an ice cream scoop, old family Christmas card and an iphone case. Last night, he attempted to place a medicine ball in the tree. Didn't quite work out as he hoped. I love looking to see what the new thing I will find is. He is such a sweet boy.

Also, including a picture of Sophie Grace's Christmas program. She only goes to school one day a week, but loves it and was so excited about her first ever program like this. She was absolutely precious singing with her friends and loves being on stage. She never ceases to amaze me. She is fourth in from the right, front row. Big red bow in her hair. My sweet sweet girl.


And then, there is Bella. She is a charmer. So full of life and such a love. Kind and truly caring about other people. This season is her season. I've included a picture of my beaut too. Tree hugging! She always puts a spin on things.



I am stumped at the speed of this season. I remain, and even find myself more and more, thankful for the many blessings bestowed to me. These children are such gifts and getting to enjoy them is something I could never adequately thank God for. Bella reminded me the other day of a tradition we started in recent years on Christmas. After tearing into presents, the girls and I and now Shep, make homemade cinnamon rolls. Such a sweet scent on the sweetest of all mornings. Realizing that this is one of only five more Christmas's that Bella will be a child in my home. Where has the time gone. These little lights in my life are amazing, I plan to enjoy them to the fullest extent.

Work in progress....

So excited to see what God has planned as I finally endeavor to start my small business. The support and contacts are overwhelmingly terrific. So many things to do! Holidays and this, definitely a busy season. I love that I have an opportunity to serve my family beyond my standard role and meet my heart needs at the same time! There is a lot of work to do, but I am absolutely up for the challenge.

On a side note, look at one of the many wonderful ways I typically get to start my day!

Confidence and self respect.....

Amazing things. A plethora of either can overtake a person and a lack of can destroy. Finding the right mix in the middle is tough, but knowing who you are, what is at the core of you is essential. Knowing this enables you to not only care for yourself appropriately, but also care for the hearts of others adequately. Ironically, an imbalance of this can lead to the demise of amazing people, not just oneself, but also of others both directly and indirectly. When we are faced with making a choice between something that is right or wrong, how we feel about ourselves, our confidence, plays the key role. Choosing the path laden with emotion is most times a selfish choice. It is the difference between the strength to trust and the rational in "I want". The difference in I believe who I am to be and I don't know, the difference between a wise woman and a foolish one, a good heart and a foul one. Christ esteem is becoming on a person. It gives you the ability to decipher between lies, manipulations and ego. It allows you to grow into what God has called you to be, instead of a desperate person looking any place to fit in. And anywhere for love and affection. True love and honorable intention can't be found in inappropriate places. It doesn't hide in corners and it doesn't shield itself from view. It doesn't make you feel less, but rather more. And it starts in the home heart, you can't feel love from any source, in it's entirety, if you don't first love yourself!